Home Sweet AnnaBelle











{February 28, 2011}   $hit My Family Says:

“Hm. You look kinda thin. And not in a good way.”

“Can you call these bill collectors and tell them I’m in a women’s shelter?”

“Mom and Dad weren’t alcoholics. They were just bar flies who drank at home when they got older.”

“You and your Dad will always have music. He loved the others, too, even though they were tone deaf.”

“You look like your great grandmother. My God, she was a bitch.”

“You sing like your grandmother. My God, she was a bitch.”

“Well I don’t know what happened…? You all have the same dad, fer Chrissakes, you just got the only tall gene!”

“You know what would look really nice on you? Make up.” [Said by my sweet, well-intentioned sister, who really didn’t understand why I looked incredulous at her “suggestion”. It’s like someone “casually” suggesting gum, deodorant or soap.]

“I totally forgot you had freckles. Mom wouldn’t let us mention them anymore after ****** said they were ugly and you cried. Loser.” [For the record, I was 7.]

“Can I borrow some money? My heat was cut off.”

“Can I borrow some money? My phone was cut off.”

“Can I borrow some money? My mortgage is behind.”

“Can I borrow some money? I can’t pay for my son’s braces/school clothes/school supplies/haircut/tuition?”

“Can I borrow some money? I just got outta jail.”

“Well, I don’t know why they always asked you for money either, fer Chrissakes. It’s not like you have any. You’re just the most gullible, I guess.” [Thanks, Mom.]

“Glad to hear your wisdom teeth came out fine. Hey, did they give you any percocet?”

“I can’t drink coffee without Bailey’s….What?….No….Bailey’s isn’t REALLY alcohol. More like a sweetener that warms me up.”

“I just hope when I kick off, you kids won’t totally disown your sister.” [No promises, Ma.]

“It’s OK. Tall girls can carry off big feet.”

“Yeah, you should probably stuff your bra to wear that shirt.”

“It’s OK. Your Dad’s expectations weren’t unreasonable. After ******, he just prayed the rest of you would hold a job and not steal.” [Hey! For once, I’m ahead of the game! I feel your pride shinin’ down on me, Daddy-O!]

“Whatever, at least I don’t keep garbage on my counter.” [My sister, referring to my kitchen composter.]

“If you don’t have a microwave, how do you cook vegetables?”

“I AM eating healthy. Peanut M&M’s have protein.”

Coming Soon: My Mother’s Mother-isms. Stay tuned, Kids.

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{February 27, 2011}   The Depths of my Rage…

So, I’ve disappeared a bit. There are reasons for this, and while I can’t get into particulars here, I want to discuss a few things that I’ve had the dubious honour of learning over the last 3 months.

First, the foster care system where I live SUCKS. Just…SUCKS.

Aboriginal children are treated like possessions, paycheques, and houseplants, at best.

No mind is paid to attachment. NONE.

Respite caregivers are helpless, even if they’ve known a child their entire life, and been a steady caregiver throughout.

Our system is more concerned about saving money than saving children’s lives, or saving families. You’d think they’d be able to strike a happy medium, right? Yeah, well, hope springs fucking eternal.

Foster parents are nothing more than vendors and have no power to advocate for the best interest of children. Zero. The courts and any other powers that be quite simply don’t GIVE A SHIT.

Even in the face of a reasonable solution that will provide minimal disruption for the child, Children’s Services will opt for the option that makes the least sense, and will turn a kid’s world upside down. EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.

Foster parents are naive, but it’s often not their fault. We ask questions, but those questions go unanswered in an effort to cut foster parents off at the knees and keep them quiet. I wouldn’t ordinarily say something so brazen, but what I have witnessed recently shocked even me, and I am not easy to shock when it comes to anything pertaining to foster care. Really.

So…I just want to say, if ever there is a foster parent reading this post:

PLEASE advocate. Don’t rely on your worker to tell you the whole truth. You MUST, MUST, MUST continue to ask questions, attend any court dates you are permitted to attend, and fight TOOTH AND NAIL if you believe a child to be in peril. You MUST, because it is your moral obligation as a foster parent, and a human being. Please do not simply “accept” what you are told by the system. Get lawyers, escalate complaints, write letters and be tireless.

Children die. Child abuse is not going away, but common sense IS. It’s NOT OK to send a child back to abuse without a fight of some kind. It’s not.

Children’s Services needs to remember who they work for. CHILDREN.



{February 15, 2011}   I know. I KNOW.

It’s been months.

I couldn’t begin to explain what’s been going on in my life, so I’m not going to try. Sigh. But…Things are on the upswing, I think. I hope.

If I have failed to return any emails, etc., I profusely apologize, and hope that you will not take it personally. I have 1500 emails right now in my inbox. Not. Kidding. UUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH. But, I will be spending the next couple of weeks going through them and catching up.

On the upside, I got a new computer! Yay! My old one bit it…BIG TIME. It’s a Mac this time around. Thank you Air Miles! 🙂

Peace.



et cetera